Location, Location, Location…
Continuing in our pursuit, Big Swiss led me to a well-hidden location in Smyrna, Georgia; Muss & Turner’s.
Yes, Smyrna is not Atlanta; but in retrospect, there are no boundaries encompassing Gluttony. On arrival, I noticed the chromatic, jazzy, bundle of businesses uniquely laid out as a complex. The shopping center resembled stacked, idiosyncratically positioned, townhouses. Needless to say our necks twisted, while our eyes squinted, as we strived to depict a “Muss and Turner’s sign” apart from the bordering competition.
Hands down, one of the coolest locations we have ever seen. Make sure you ask to sit at the bar, the quest to Eleanor’s Speakeasy provides an adventurous trip for drinkers. This is a must-visit location that everyone should experience.
Was not impressed with their menu selection or food descriptions; burger was good but not great (Biased | I personally own a Big Green Egg, rendering me an identical product at home). Prices were on the high side (see menu below).
If you are planning a business meeting or party, consider this the location for an exclusive escape. Easy access right off 285 and Atlanta Road. If someone was visiting you from out of town, definitely take them to Muss & Turner’s.
Clean, Private, and easily accessible; brilliant color scheme and home-like amenities. See photo for more details (just kidding)
- By Big Swiss
1675 Cumberland Parkway Smyrna, Georgia 30080 | 770.434.1114
Monday – Thursday
11:30a.m. to 4:00p.m. (intermission) 5:30p.m. to 9:30p.m.
Friday – Saturday
11:30a.m. to 4:00p.m. (intermission) 5:30p.m. to 10:30p.m.
11:00a.m. to 4:00p.m. (intermission) 5:30p.m. to 9:00p.m.
Decor and The Freezer Door
As we walked in we were greeted by a hostess, possibly the most obvious event I could ever mention about a restaurant. Her repetitive questions, regarding if we had ever been there before and if we wanted to see the bar area, annoyed us; especially since we had not observed the menu she suggested we simultaneously look over. Noticing the display of baked goods in front of us and the high-class clientele, we caved in, “sure, take us.”
Don’t get in strange vans and don’t follow hostesses into freezers; two rules my children will abide.
For the first time in our adult lives, we were playing “follow the leader;” beginning at a freezer door, passing a unicorn, through a hallway of wine and business meetings, and eventually ending in a pirate-ship-like Speakeasy, we found ourselves anew. Astonished at the labyrinth, our amusement started to fuel our hunger.
Service Wasn’t Her Style
After Being sat in the cave, we were greated by our waitress; sadly, I don’t remember her name, nor do I believe she ever provided it. If the above title seems pejorative, it is not that she did poorly; I consider myself a preceptor of character and by her average performance, I would not appraise this job a great passion of hers. Although she lacked “server skills,” she certainly knew a lot about the establishment and I do believe in her dedication toward her employer.
Admittedly, Swiss and I bombarded her with our curiosity; seldom do we eat burgers in dark corridors. She informed us that the tavern we were in was actually, “a separate entity with a symbiotic relationship” (Server Girl, 2012). Therefore, we began in M & T, but landed in Eleanor’s. I would provide a link this “entity’s” webpage but it seems the theme of a Speakeasy is staying “off-the-grid.” Refrencing the picture above, our new setting was catered with Alcohol shelved in what I deemed, “Gridiron-Lattice.” Had we imbibed, I’m sure their Liquor accommodations and aphotic ambiance would have been more than cozy.
“The Burger” $10.93
Adding to the unorthodox amenities, when Swiss ordered his Coke he was asked if “MexiCoke” was okay; it seems that in a pledge to stay healthy, Turner’s only carries Coca-Cola from Mexico since it begets natural Cane Sugar. Not so sure about its appeal, however, I am certain “MexiCoke” stimulated the same taste buds as Diet Coke; maybe it’s a “natural” thing, who knows.
Now for the Meat of This Fairytale (PunSmith, 2012).
Sadly, Big Swiss accidentally ordered a sandwich; I pondered over including this interesting fact. Yes, my burger partner (platonic) failed his first objective, order a burger; more importantly, this issue yields a great point.
I know Chefs and Entrepreneurs strive to be edgy and innovative but you cannot do so in the event that it confuses clientele. An illegible menu will never “bear fruit,” here is where the perplexity occurred: little to no lighting, his item was found under the section “Beef & Things That Eat Grass” section, the dish was named “Basic Beef” ($9.53), and it was described as “Angus Beef.” Detailing these facts makes me hungry for burgers, so I know other people are experiencing this dilemma. Contrary to common Burger-Law, he received a Beef-wich of sorts; oh, the look of despair on his face.
Progressing, I got exactly what I had desired, an entrée titled “The Burger;” no confusion here.
Toppings: Big Green Egg grilled grass-fed beef, roasted poblano pepper, melted cheddar, red onion, house-made cilantro aioli, French bun
Notice the Big Green Egg you see; ironically, Swiss owns one of these smokers and we often cook our beef accordingly. Therefore, the awaited first bite was of no surprise, I was already accustomed to the appeal of a Smoked Delicacy. This was a turnoff, I always long for something location-exclusive; not the Chef’s fault but my own, spoiled, habits. I would imagine a partaker not use to such methods, to be overwhelmed with the peculiar Big Green Egg flavor.
It is a well-knwon fact that I hate white sauces; with much anxiety and due to our waitress’s recommendation, I opted to risk my tongue on the Cilantro Aioli. When I got my burger, it was hard to decipher individual toppings as a result of the poor illumination; I associated the unwanted sauce with the white cheddar and swallowed my pride. My view on the Aioli, nothing very noticeable except for its melee composition. After noticing the texture, each bite grew more and more cumbersome.
The Poblano Pepper was a needed additive; I do feel it could have been cooked a minute longer, a bit too tough. Throughout the course, Swiss and I devoured their amazing, thoroughly seasoned, $6 French Fry compliment; you can never go wrong with a bowl of starch and salt (Man Law #3). Collectively, the meals were satisfactory but not memorable.
Although not an ideal environment for photography, the lighting perpetuates an aura of exclusion, secrecy, and mental reserve. We both concurred that this partitioned room was a perfect getaway; one could lose themselves in such personal quarters.
For the Best Burger Initiative, we may have had the wrong dish (especially Big Swiss). As for decoration, dedication, creativity, and personality; the Muss & Turner’s Restaurant really brought its “A” game.
We are more than pleased with our experience and we consider this location a “top-notch” setting for formal, or even casual, meetings; especially if you want to leave a lasting impression on patrons.
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